When I turned 20 – I had just had a horrible motorcycle wreck that injured me pretty badly. I returned to BYU that Fall on crutches and with casts on three limbs. My roommates and FHE brothers woke me just after midnight to celebrate my birthday… haha! I remember another trumpeter in the Cougar Band asked me why I was so happy. Whaaat?! I was taken aback until I realized he was referring to my injured condition and yet there I was hootin’ & hollerin’ with them and trying to keep up. The physical activity and associations in the band saved me. It was probably the next semester (Winter) when I had a thought, “You should go on a mission.” I agreed with that thought partly because of all the excitement around my older friends going, and also partly because I was convinced that no one would marry me and my scar, unfortunately. However, God had a plan for me and during my mission I was able to forget myself and my scar and immerse myself into a glorious and difficult experience. It was because of where I served my mission that I met Dean later while teaching at the MTC.
When I turned 30 – We had two young daughters and were in the middle of establishing a group/branch in the church for Lao refugees in Sacramento. They named themselves the “Sangsawong” group which meant something about light (ask Dean). I learned to pray, bear testimony, and speak simple greetings, etc. in Lao. Our little group grew and thrived. We had many glorious and difficult experiences, miracles really, that are too many to mention here. It was during that time that I realized the many wonderful experiences I had on my mission could be repeated over and over again in my life if I would only serve with all my heart, mind, and strength wherever I was called. We were a few years into it when I realized, “We forgot to have more babies!” Dean thought maybe we were done? I said, “Nope, there’s two more.” We would probably still be serving there (haha) except that Dean had a job opportunity that took us to SoCal. During that summer we sold our Sacramento home, our third daughter was born, we lived briefly in Santa Maria, and then moved into our new home in Aliso Viejo. It was there that our family became complete with four daughters. I have many, many fond memories of the glorious and difficult “mothering” experiences that blessed my life in Aliso.
When I turned 40 – This is when I had my mid-life crisis… or maybe it was just a wrestle with the Spirit? The Spirit kept telling me to go back to school and I really didn’t want to, nor did I have any idea what I would study. However, I had been heavily involved with the PTA at Eaglecrest Elementary the year before when we moved to Utah and celebrated the Olympics. I spoke with the school principal who pointed me in the right direction, and then everything fell into place. I still don’t know how we made it through those years when Dean served as Bishop, and became a realtor, and paid for my graduate degree. What I do know is that it was glorious and difficult and that I was following God’s plan for me. Looking back from that point, it seemed that each decade brought new meaning to the words in my Patriarchal Blessing. I found that women truly can have “it” all, line upon line. Although I experienced feelings of guilt for NOT being a stay-at-home mom, I began to see how my career was blessing my extended family, my own daughters, my marriage, and me personally.
When I turned 50 – I was in the middle of serving as the stake Relief Society president. Every year we held a women’s conference and I had the opportunity to share the stand with many famous women in the church including Sheri Dew, Hilary Weeks, Emily Freeman, Elaine Dalton… but the most memorable was Vera Dallon. She turned 100-yrs-old not long before I turned fifty. I had the inspiring thought to invite her to speak and share her 100-yr-old testimony to the sisters in our stake. It took some convincing, but she agreed to speak and it was a wonderful meeting. For the first time, I began to think that growing old has some definite perks and blessings that I certainly wouldn’t give up to be 29 over and over again. During that same time, Dean spent 5-years serving with the Asian YSA ward on BYU campus. I was jealous of his associations there, but I was living my own groovy life. What started out as my scariest, most overwhelming calling ever turned into a glorious years’ long experience of building relationships and receiving personal revelation.
NOW I am 60 – Recently, after going back to school at SUU, I am now working as an Assistant Principal. I never would have predicted this for me, but I am seeing even more fulfillment to my Patriarchal Blessing. Dean is newly called as Bishop for a mid-singles ward and we both thoroughly enjoy serving in the Timpanogos Temple. Our 7th grandchild will soon be born and nothing brings me greater joy than spending time with them and with our adult children. All the difficulties of the road leading to my current place are nothing compared to the gloriousness of my many blessings. I haven’t said much about Dean in these words, but he has been there with me for every decade as a true best friend and faithful helpmeet. Words cannot express the love I feel for Dean. He is my good Samaritan.
The Difference Between “60” and “20”
1) I no longer worry about if God loves me, I know it. My main worry now is how to show my love to God! Elder Christofferson said, “As we abide in God’s love, we depend less and less on the approval of others to guide us.” My love for God has grown as I have come to understand His love for me. He can show me my weaknesses and I can handle it a little bit better because of this understanding.
2) The greatness of simplicity. Pres. Brigham Young said, “Our lives are made up of little, simple circumstances that amount to a great deal when they are brought together, and sum up the whole life of the man or woman.” Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing… (D&C 64:32-34)
3) The value of personal revelation. Pres. Nelson said, “In coming days it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.” This is true. I constantly pray for this skill.
4) The importance of Priesthood Power. Pres. Nelson said, “The temple lies at the center of strengthening our faith and spiritual fortitude because the Savior and His doctrine are the very heart of the temple.” Keeping my temple covenants provides me access to Christ’s healing and strengthening power.